


But I Would Only Drag You Down Beneath

by Scylla87



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Missing Zayn, OC, Zayn Malik - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-03-22 04:31:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3715111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scylla87/pseuds/Scylla87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anxious to expand his writing abilities for the new album Liam begins working with someone new that helps him to come to a realization about the past five years of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But I Would Only Drag You Down Beneath

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea for a story about Liam sitting down to collaborate with someone new, a completely fictional character, in an effort to expand his songwriting. In the process he comes to some realizations about himself.
> 
> This is a completely random story that just popped into my head. I for some reason liked the idea of depicting him alone, away from the others just because it didn't feel right to have anyone there to me. The story takes place after Zayn has left and the others have finished the current leg of the tour. He journeys to Texas in an effort to meet a semi-famous songwriter and ends up getting a little more than he bargained for.
> 
> I apologize for any mistakes made. I couldn't type this up on a computer, so it might have a few typos. Hopefully you guys like it though.
> 
> I named the original character after an old work friend. He was obsessed with the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland and somehow got nicknamed after him long time before I met him. I used the nickname he was given from the character in this story as well as his actual first name.

Liam paced up and down the room trying to quiet his nerves. He couldn't figure out why he was so unaccountably nervous to be here, in this room, waiting for his songwriting partner to come in. 'I'm a professional,' he reminded himself for probably the 50th since he had been shown in by the cute secretary mere minutes before. 'I am a professional, and he agreed that he would be interested in sitting down to possibly collaborate.' Liam tried to focus on those thoughts and not the other ones reminding him that this man, though only five or six years older than him, has had many hits in his illustrious career, this man is the rising star in the songwriting world, this man Liam had looked up to for some time. He tried not to focus on those thoughts as he looked around the room. He was just taking in the piano in the corner when the door opened behind him. He turned to take in the man standing in the doorway. He was must taller than Liam and obviously heavily muscled with light mocha skin and messy black hair, which he has clearly spent little time styling. "Hello," the man said simply in a voice faintly accented in a way Liam had never heard before, "You must be Liam Payne."

"Nice to meet you," Liam responded, "I suppose that you are the Mad Iranian." He threw it out there seemingly casually, wanting to get the awkward bit over with.

"That's what they call me," the man responded as he entered the room and closed the door behind him.

"Sorry," Liam said, "I've only ever seen your name in the liner notes of the albums you produce and write on, and Juilan neglected to tell me your actual name when he set up the meeting." He attempted not to look sheepish as he said this. All of this was going far worse than he feared. It was bad enough that he had had to have Julian Bunetta get him a meeting instead of being able to call someone in the business that he respected and admired to even so much as sit down and meet with him. And now he was babbling away like a moron and making the whole thing worse. He figured he should to quit while he was ahead.

"Reza," the man said simply. When Liam looked confused he clarified, "my name, it's Reza."

Liam nodded looking around the room some more. He wasn't really sure how he was supposed to do this. He had met plenty of people over the last few years with the purpose of working with them, but somehow this meeting was much more awkward than any of them has ever been. He wasn't really certain how he was supposed to start this. At the rate he was going Reza was never going to want to work with him. He probably thought that he was still some kid fresh off the X Factor unable to hold his own surrounded by people who had been doing this so much longer than him and knew so much more. He had really been looking forward to getting to sit down with someone new and work on something, but somehow his mind just wouldn't cooporate to let him actually carry on a conversation like an adult. He searched him mind for something to talk about. "This is a nice piano you have here. Louis would go apeshit if he saw it."

Reza frowned for a second. "Louis?" He asked. "Oh, the songwriting partner. Is he not coming?"

Liam wasn't sure how to process that. The whole point of coming here was to take a step back from his band mates, if only for a second, to work on something new that he could stoke back and share with them when it was ready, and here he went and ruined it by bring up Louis, who apparently was supposed to come with him. "Oh he's not really my songwriting partner," he tried to explain, "not that I don't like him. We've just written together a lot. But for this new album both of us thought that it might be nice to branch out some, write with new people."

Reza nodded. "I can understand that. You've got to be on your toes as an artist, always growing and trying new things. I guess I was just confused. Jules sort if made it sound like the two of you were wanting to maybe get a new opinion on some tracks that you'd been working on. But just you is fine too. Do you play?" He pointed toward the piano Liam had been admiring. "I'm guessing by your earlier comment that Louis does at least."

"Oh I do too. Not nearly as well mind you, but I can play a little." He stood there for a moment not sure what to add. "I guess that I wasn't sure if you'd want to work with me or not. You know nothing about me." He hadn't meant for that last part to sound a little hurt.

Reza chuckled a little to himself. "I won't deny that I am not the world's biggest One Direction fan; in fact I have probably spent a good deal of time ignoring the lot of you. I don't say that to be offensive, just a fact. I'm not particularly into that kind of music, but when Jules told me that you were interested in potentially collaborating I listened to some of your stuff. It wasn't bad. Room for improvement, sure, but the only way you get that is to keep writing. I saw some potential there, and like I said, every artist benefits from trying new things and working with new people. I figured the worst thing that could happen was that we'd sit down and have nothing to say together. And I could get to know you. We could sit down and work on something, see how it turns out, then go from there." He added the last part almost as an afterthought. "I will admit that I was a little surprised that you still wanted to take this meeting, especially now that I know that it's just you, given Malik leaving the band. I would have thought that you'd want to be back home instead of here in Texas trying to convince the world that the four of you are a united front in the wake of one of you leaving the group."

Liam took his time responding. He looked at Reza for a moment before walking over to the piano. He sank onto the stool and ran his fingers lightly over the keys as he marshaled his thoughts. In the end he said simply, "I don't want to talk about Zayn."

"I can respect that, should have brought it up. So," Reza said, clearly looking for a way to bring things back around, "do you have anything you want to work on in general?"

Liam didn't seem to hear him. He pressed a finger down onto the key furthest to the right. A clear, high note rang out into silent room. He let the note float away on the air until it had faded away. "Do you ever think about Beethoven sometimes?" he asked the question to himself more so than Reza. His thoughts circled themselves around his mind as he went on. "I think abiht him sometimes when I'm sitting at a piano playing. That sounds stupid, I'm sure. I just wonder what that had to be like, to love the music so much and then one day watch it fade away. To one day put your finger on the key and..." He reached out and pressed down causing the note to ring out once again. "But then the next, nothing." He ran his finger over it lightly, too lightly for the note to sound again. "And then over time each one disappearing one by one." Liam's fingers danced down the keys, ringing them out one by one, each one getting lower on the scale. His finger hit the furthest key from where a started, a deep note rolling through the air, lingering for a moment in the silence. "And then one day nothing at all. In the end he had to lay his head on the top of the piano and feel the notes, and even then all he felt was darkness, those deep notes that vibrate in your soul. I think about that sometimes, it all just slowly slipping away until only silence remains."

Reza regarded him for a moment, almost curiously. "You are seriously twisted, you know that?"

Liam looked at him for a moment before looking down at the keys. His fingers found the right ones and began playing slowly. The melody came out deep as his fingers ran over the bass notes almost lovingly. Reza watched him play unsure what had prompted this sudden melancholy. He had to admit that just the music itself was sort if beautiful, if a bit dark. At least it was a start, something he could work with. He sank to the floor by the door, listening to the song as Liam continued to play. He barely heard it when Liam began to sing softly, only catching small snatches of the song, Liam humming softly in places where he didn't fully have the words. "If you were near..." "How I would pull you to me..." "But I would only drag you down beneath..."

The music faded softly as Liam reached the end. "Really rough, I know," he said, his first acknowledgement that he had been playing for someone else, moreover, someone who was interested in hear what he had to play, "I think I have the music down, but the lyrics need a lot of work. I just can't quite get it right. I think a thousand things, but none of them seem to fit. Does that make any sense to you?" He looked at Reza at last. He could t help but see that the man's demeanor had changed completely. He seemed so relaxed as he sat on the floor clearly paying attention to Liam in a way no other person outside of the band itself ever really had, like he genuinely cared what Liam might have to say. Liam felt himself relax a little.

Reza's head hit the wall softly as he considered how to respond. "No, I think I understand what you mean. There is definitely something there that we can work with. I was originally going to say that it was too dark, but I think that it works with the few lyrics that you do have. That is single handedly one of the darkest love songs I have ever heard, and I haven't even heard the bulk of the lyrics yet."

Liam looked at him strangely for a moment. "Love song?" he asked quietly.

Reza raised an eyebrow. "Break up up song?" he hazarded. "Either way you clearly love the person that it's about. All that talk of pulling them to you, like you can't imagine going forward if you couldn't touch them again, but then on the other hand that line, what was it, oh yeah, 'but I would only drag you down beneath' like as much as you love them and want them close you fear that your love for them is toxic, like you almost wish to set them free. It beautiful really, sad of course, but beautiful all the same. I'm guessing whoever this girl is she really tore you up."

Liam shook his head. "It's not about a girl, not a love song. It's about..." He trailed off unsure how to put where the song had come from.

Reza somehow understood what he had failed to say. "Oh," he said simply.

Liam seemed to read between the lines as well. "But it was never like that between us," he protested.

Reza appeared to at least to try to not look skeptical. "You're sure about that?" He asked.

"Contrary to popular belief," Liam began heatedly, "I am in fact attracted to women!" He looked around a little sheepishly realizing that he had gotten a little loud at the end. Then it occurred to him that the room was probably sound proof, so no one outside could hear the frankly ridiculous turn things had taken.

Reza didn't get angry, or even look offended. He simply stated, "I never said that you weren't." He paused for a second, weighing his words. "I'm attracted to women, some women, but that doesn't mean that I'm not also, occasionally, attracted to some men." His words hit Liam hard. He had met many people over the years, but no one had ever been as frank with him before. He opened his mouth to speak, though he was unsure what he would say, but before the words left his tongue Reza began to speak. "I wasn't looking to offend you, and if I did, I apologize. I wasn't trying to cast aspersions or anything. I just assumed that maybe you might be..." He struggled for a second with the words. "Like me, I guess. That song just sounded to me so heartbreaking, like that was the place that you were coming from. And that was wrong of me. I shouldn't have assumed something like that about you since I met you maybe fifteen minutes ago. I still say that it's a love song, but you know, there are different kinds of love. Maybe just because the song is about Zayn it isn't a song about that. Especially since there was never anything between you, like you said. But you did know him a long time, and I imagine that you love him in a way. Maybe not that way but in some way."

Liam stared at him for a moment. He struggled to find the words to say what he wanted to say. "You like men?" was the only thing he eventually was able to get out.

Reza chuckled. "You act like you've never met anyone who was bi before."

Liam struggled to find a response to that as well. Finally he conceded that he had. "I just hadn't guessed that you would be. You don't really strike me as the type, no offense. But like you said. I guess I shouldn't have judge you before we really even got to know each other."

"Does that bother you, that I like men?" Reza asked curiously.

"No," Liam conceded. "I guess it just caught me off guard. I've never really thought about..." He trailed off suddenly and frowned. "Different kinds of love," he muttered at last.

Reza was silent for a long moment. "Yiu two never?" he ventured to ask.

Liam shook his head. "No, never."

"But you thought about it, wanted to?" Reza said it almost as a whisper.

Liam's head snapped up suddenly, looking at rphis companion dead in the face. He opened his mouth to protest, to reiterate that he was attracted to women, but somehow the words didn't quite come. "I don't think I thought about it," he allowed after a moment. Reza was silent as Liam's mind raced. He never tonight about it, of that Liam was sure. But looking back there had been moments that maybe he should have considered, little seconds in time that in hindsight didn't quite add up. He began working through it slowly, not realizing that he was speaking out loud. "You know I played before all of this started. It used to be such a rush being up there on stage in front of all those people. Even if it was just five people listening to me, it was just such a rush. But I never felt the need to..." He trailed off for a moment. "When I started playing with the others though, things began to shift some. I don't think it ever occurred to me that there might be something... At first it was like always, so crazy to be up there, all those people hearing me, and it was great to have four other people up there with me, sharing the experience with them and them with me. Amazing beyond words. But then there were sometimes when, after, I would find that I need to, wanted to, take matters into my own hands, if you will." Reza chuckled at that, but Liam ignored him and kept on talking. "And I always thought that it was that, the crowd, the adrenaline rush. But it got worse, so that sometimes it was all I could think about as we were leaving the stage. And then as we were still onstage. And then finally before we even got onstage. But I never thought about that."

Reza stood up from where he sat and walked slowly over to the piano. He sank down beside Liam and waited for him to continue. When he did not Reza finally spoke. "And there has never been anyone else?"

"I didn't even know there was him," Liam whispered. "I don't think the thought ever would have occurred to me, not that it even does now."

"So I'm guessing that you've never been with another man before," Reza stated simply.

Liam looked over at him curiously, unsure how to respond. He watched passively as the other man proceeded to push the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows revealing a number of colorful tattoos covering both arms. "Nice ink," he commented. Reza nodded in response. Liam waited a moment before saying. "But to answer your question, no, I've never had sex with another man. I've never wanted to." His eyes faintly trailed down the seated figure beside him, taking in a few more details about him. It always took him a moment to look away only for his eyes to snap back again.

Reza seemed impassive to the causal glances. He sat there apparently focused on thoughts and musings all his own for a moment before he reached out without warning and ran his hand up the inside of Liam's thigh. His fingers brushed softly against the dick of the young man beside him, eliciting a soft moan. "You're hard," he whispered softly.

"I know," Liam responded. He knew that he should say something, do something to end this as Reza's hand gripped him tighter through his jeans, but something held him back. He and to admit that it did feel nice to be touched, no matter who the culprit was. But what made him reach out in search of Reza's own cock he didn't understand.

It felt strange, when he found it, to have another man's penis within his grasp, even if it was through heavy denim. Too weird. He jerked his hand back almost as soon as he touched it. Reza made no comment or complaint about the removal or Liam's obvious uncertainty that he should have ventured out if his comfort zone. Instead he sneezed harder, trying to gauge if he was going to have to stop. Liam said nothing, his hands resting on the keys of the piano, clearly having nowhere else to put them. Reza stopped his ministrations for a moment and proceeded to struggle to get Liam's pants unbuttoned. He reached in once they were undone and continued rubbing Liam through his boxers. He paid little attention as Liam began to faintly play the song he had been working on, his fingers hitting the notes in order without difficulty even after Reza's hand dove into his boxers to touch him skin to skin, palming him roughly. He squeezed hard as he ran his hand along the head, spreading the gathering precum there as he made his way back down. Liam removed one of his hands from the keys and grabbed ahold of Reza's wrist. Reza began to slowly ease up and down Liam's length. Liam felt his eye close slowly as his hand moved ever so slightly up and down as he continued to grip the wrist of the man slowly jacking him off. He couldn't help a soft moan from escaping his lips. "Stop," he whispered at last.

Reza pulled his hand out of Liam's pants without complaint; he did not say a word as Liam stood up from the piano his pants still undone. He watched passively as the other man stood mere inches from him trying to collect his thoughts. Reza gave him a moment to say something before he found that he had to speak. "I'm sorry," he said, "I shouldn't have done that. I can understand that you're pissed."

"I'm not," Liam whispered, "it felt...nice."

Reza weighed his words carefully. "Do you want to feel better?" He watched Liam closely but still barely caught the very slight nod he gave.

Reza eased down the bench until he was right behind where Liam stood with his back to him. He reached out and ever so slightly eased him back between the bench and the piano. Liam allowed himself to be led back to where he was required to stand. He said nothing as he felt Reza's hands reach up and slowly push down his jeans and underwear in one go. Liam felt them slide down his legs as gravity took control of them and pulled them toward the floor. Reza hadn't moved his hands from Liam's hips, but as his jeans pulled around his ankles, Liam felt them slide down and over his bare ass. He opened his mouth to object, unsure what the other man had in mind, but closed it. Reza had stopped when asked before, so Liam hoped that if he didn't like what was about to transpire the same would be true. He waited unsure as he felt those hands ease his cheeks apart. He had no clue that the man had leaned forward any until he suddenly felt warm breath between his buttcheeks. "Wha-" he began to ask but Was cut off as Reza's tongue reached out and gently ran over his hole. Liam groaned out a sound that he had never really made before. It was certainly a sensation that he had never felt before. He reached out grabbing ahold of the piano in front of him for support. Without thinking about it, he leaned forward, giving Reza more access. His chest almost flush against the piano he groaned loudly as he felt the tip of the other man's tongue slip inside him. The thrusts in and out of his hole were more then he could have ever imagined. Without think he reached out behind him and ran his fingers through Reza's hair, pulling slightly. Almost in response he felt a finger ease inside him. He moaned loudly as the finger and tongue entered him side by side. Neither were sensations he had experienced before and together they had him dripping steadily.

Liam moaned loudly as he felt another finger enter him, the part of them scissoring him open, the tongue licking and entering between them. "Oh," he groaned at the pleasure rocketing through him. He'd never felt something like this before and was unsure how to process getting so much pleasure out of it. But he couldn't think at the moment. He felt the fingers ease out of him, and he was actually sorry to have them go. The tongue kept lapping at him though, and all he could focus on was being slowly undone by the slick muscle licking around inside of him instead of hearing the slight hiss of a zipper being undone or the light crinkling the followed. He moaned loudly as the tongue finally eased out of him. He wanted it back the second that he felt it's retreat.

He barely had a moment to think before he felt Reza reach up and grab his hips, pulling him down onto his lap. One of the hands left his hip while the other circled around his waist, holding him still and guiding him further. Liam gasped suddenly as he felt the tip if Reza's cock push just past his rim. The downward motion stopped in response but he didn't rise from his position either. Reza moved his hands where there was one on each hip again. When he failed to voice an objection to the turn of events Liam felt a slight pressure on each hip pushing him down. He hissed and groaned as his felt the cock filling up his asshole more and more by the second. When he felt Reza bottom out inside him he reached out and grabbed ahold of the other man's hands stilling any further movement. He needed to sit there for a moment adjusting to the frank,h uncomfortable sensation. Once the pain had begun to subside he nodded slightly and Reza's hips bucked up into his ass suddenly bouncing him up some, causing him to slide around on the shaft inside of him. Pleasure he'd never felt rocketed through him causing a soft moan.

Reza gripped his hips tighter as Liam reached out and placed his hands on the edge of the piano. He began to push and pull Liam along his cock speeding up at the sound of the increasing moans coming from the man on his lap. Liam couldn't help but buck him hips as much as possible trying to met his partner in time to match his speed. The sound of their hips slamming together filled the room. Liam reached down beneath the piano and grabbed ahold of his dick slowly beginning to stroke himself. He had barely found a rhythm when a hand reached out and snatched the hand away. "No," Reza whispered in his ear. He shifted his hips around and found a new angle to thrust up into Liam at. A loud broken moan escaped from Liam's lips as Reza found that spot inside him that he hadn't known existed. "You have to know," Reza told him as he ground his cock into that spot over and over again. Liam's mouth was open but no sound came out as he finally felt the cock easing away from the bundle of nerves rapidly undoing him only to slam back into it again.

Reza let go of his hand at last going bad to guiding his hips at the pace he wanted to fuck him. Liam's mind raced as he felt him release building. He made no move to reach out to touch himself again. He knew that it was necessary. It somehow understand that even if his brain was no longer functioning properly. Reza suddenly began to grind into him again causing Liam to groan loudly. His toes curled in his shoes as he felt the pleasure gathering toward his core. Reza flicked up into that bundle of nerves once more and it was more than Liam could handle. He felt himself start to clench around Reza's cock as his release rested just below the surface. He pushed his hips down until he was filled completely as he felt himself coming undone. "Oh shit!" He moaned loudly as he began to squirt onto the piano. "Oh fuck Zayn that feels so good!" He heard a small chuckle behind him, but then Liam's muscles suddenly clenched as he rode out his orgasm and Reza's tone suddenly changed. "Shit!" He said as his nails dug into Liam's sides rutting him in place. He panted loudly. Liam felt himself coming down from his high, also trying to catch his breath, and it took him a second to fully comprehend that just a moment before another man had come in his ass. He sat stock still for a moment unsure what to say or do. He was saved by Reza pushing him forward and off of his cock.

Liam turned his head to watch as Reza walked over to a corner and eased the used condom off and threw it in the trash. It wasn't until Reza turned toward Liam, pulling his pants back on fully, that it occurred to Liam that he was still standing behind the piano half naked. He bent down to pull up his pants and tried not to double over from the slight pain that shot through him. He managed to get himself somewhat dressed again and slowly eased back into the piano bench. His eyes closed slightly as everything fell into place. "I'm sorry," he whispered, as his words came back to him.

Reza chuckled again. "Don't be. I wasn't looking to fall in love with you. I just thought you were hot. Should I be sorry?"

Liam realized that that was a question with a very loaded answer. "No," he responded, realizing that the was the short answer. He wasn't sure he could voice the rest of it, so he instead ventured a question of his own. "What did you mean, when you stopped me from touching myself before? You said that I needed to know, needed to know what?" He opened his eyes go look at Reza fully for the first time since.

The other man seemed to be weighing his words. Finally he appeared to think that he needed to be honest. "You needed to know, for later, when you got off it was me." Liam must have looked confused because he explained further. "Right now it is all fresh and confusing, sure, but later on you're going to try to explain this. At the moment pieces are probably falling into place for you, I know they did for me at first, but then this moment will pass. And you will most likely explain it away as a moment of confusion or something else. If you had gotten off whole touching yourself you could have said that the was way, later on. Sure you had let me fuck you, but in the end yiu got yourself off, if that makes sense. Now I can't tell you want you think or feel, because I'm not you, but I think that you are attracted to men. Maybe you are attracted to women too, I don't know. But you appeared to enjoy what I did to you, and some of that even some gay men do not do, and when you got off you said another man's name. That is significant." He shook his head suddenly. "I guess I just felt that you needed to know that you got off on another man's cock. Whatever you say or do after that is up to you, but that is a fact that will continue to remain." He sighed heavily and looked Liam up and down for a moment. "I'm tired," he said. "That song's pretty good though, so I'll tell you what, go back to your hotel room and thing things through. If you want come back tomorrow and we'll write, actually write, I promise." Reza nodded a little to himself and then left the room. Liam sat at the piano for a moment longer, watching his come stains dry. Without thinking he pulled out his phone from his pocket and typed a quick text before be could have second thoughts. He didn't even realize what he had said until after he had hit send. He looked with a slight amount of horror at the words on the screen: 'Hey Zayn, I miss you, text me sometime so we can talk.' He was on the verge of texting again saying it was an accident but his phone vibrated in his hand. He looked in disbelief at the message in front of him: 'I miss you like crazy too.'

Liam felt a smile spread across his face, and in that moment he knew, things began to fall into place. And a new line popped into his head: 'if I had just touched you once maybe I would have been satisfied'. But as he texted back 'You'll never guess who I'm writing with' he knew that that was a lie.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you guys like it or want me to write a follow up. I wasn't sure how it would go over, but I think that I might have a follow up to this story if any of you are interested.


End file.
